There’s a profound quote by Richard Bach (Author or Jonathan Livingston Seagull):

“You teach best what you most need to learn.”

As I take my annual summer pause, this wisdom resonates deeply with me. This break is a powerful time for my coaching practice and personal life, allowing me to stop, listen, read, and reflect deeply. It’s a reset, and it works wonders!

I currently find myself re-reading 4000 Weeks by Oliver Burkeman. The last time I read it, I was inspired by the story of the Helsinki Bus Station. (If you’re curious, click here to read it).  The story was pivotal for me during the early days of setting up Escentia. It illustrated the idea of perseverance and encouraged me to stick to my business plan and keep going despite self-doubt and the allure of getting a “real job” again.

The message from that story was simple but powerful: “Stay on the bus.” On days when I doubted myself and considered quitting, I would re-read that chapter. It was a lifeline, reminding me to stay the course even when venturing into new, scary territories.

Now, as I revisit the same chapter, another key message stands out – perfectly aligned with my current struggle of writing a book. For three years, I’ve started and stopped, often feeling disappointed with my progress and abandoning the project altogether.

Meanwhile, my son Harry, who has been writing since he was 13 (he’s now 20), has self-published two books. His advice to me is straightforward: “Mum, just write 100 words a day.” Watching him consistently follow this practice is both inspiring and humbling. Little did I know, his approach aligns perfectly with Oliver’s advice.

Oliver’s insights that resonated with me are:

1. Accept Imperfection: The flawless standards of my imagination are hindering my progress. Oliver advises, “Just write the book, Paula, because the end product will definitely disappoint you. Just get on with it!”
2. Embrace Radical Incrementalism: This concept, borrowed from Psychology Professor Robert Boice, emphasizes that successful writers make writing a daily habit, where output might be small, but consistency leads to significant results over time. Whilst those who struggle to accept the discomfort of their limited control over the speed of the creative process are subject to procrastination, binge writing, or running away entirely.

Reading this, I felt exposed. It described my approach perfectly. Boice’s method also stresses the importance of stopping when your designated writing time is up. This practice builds patience and prevents burnout. Again, I felt exposed.

In other words…stopping actually strengthens the muscle – so you can return to the writing with fresh ideas and sustained productivity.

My conclusion is that I am an impatient perfectionist. If I want to achieve my goal of writing a book, I need to change my approach and my mindset.

So, thank you, Oliver and Harry. I’m going to give this a try and will report back on my progress in the coming months.

I also hope this resonates with and helps other impatient perfectionists out there! 🙂

— Paula